I was having a discussion with a family friend last week at some party and it somehow kinda killed my spirit. As in his outlook on our women just made me begin to wonder just how bad the situation really was. The situation I am talking about is the whole fad of dating aristoz, most of whom are married. He explained to me that a lot of women prefer married men because they are already established and they usually have enough cash to spend on their needs. Now he was telling me about an incident that occured the day b4, his friend had about 6 girlfriends in one location, mind you his friend is very married and they all knew this. So I kept asking questions, trying not to sound too naive and his take was, thats just the way it is. He attributed a lot of infidelity to this trend, he said sometimes, they bring girls, line them up and they have their pick, I asked if they were prostitues, and he said no, that most are from good homes and most are just greedy and lazy.
My experience with our women has always been empowering, I am surrounded by hardworking, independent naija women so its almost like whats soo different. do they have two heads, are opportunities not there. I remember growing up, there was this sense of pride associated with being a naija woman. We are the ones you had to work twice as hard just to date, the end results was always worth it. We were the independent ones that backed our men and did not mind building from scratch, or so i was led to believe. Maybe i was raised in a bubble of denial or maybe they were trying to protect us from reality or maybe this is really a new thing that just keeps getting worse.
As of a few yrs back I knew such a thing as aristos existed but I just did not realize how bad the situation was. I guess I never really took the time out to analyze the situation but now that I am my heart breaks. Now i know why these pot bellied old ass men, old enough to be my father have so much confidence as to send someone to give me their card. Hey if it works on other women why wont it work on her abi? Our ladies need empowerment, and they need it badly and they need it now. The world does not revolve around money and your pride is something you can never buy back. Before you kill me for generalizing, not all are like this o, and I am hoping its the minority of women, a very small percentage that do all these "RUNS", yeah yeah there is even a name for it.. lol.. Runs girls, or Club girls.. hehe, you live and learn. Like I said b4, i know tons of hardworking independent naija women who stay grounded and have never seen the boxer shorts of an aristos even with their corner eye but for the ones that have why?
Maybe its a clickish thing, like follow follow, you know if your friends are doing it then why not. Maybe the situation in naija really is that bad, maybe there is some sort of fun derived from sleeping with men three times your age for cash, ah let me take that back, these days they do not even have to be old, so far the money is rolling in, you qualify as an aristos. Hey so I guess my man could technically be an aristos, hahaha that would be hilarious!!!! "Errm so what if you are with toni payne, send me credit jor" and "so what if you have to fly down to paris to join toni payne, i beg my house rent is due and i need to go shopping" hahahaha, the man would run faster than his legs can take him..lol
the sad part is, its not just my family friend that sees things this way, its like general knowledge. I want that image of the naija woman back, so next time I sit and talk with any man, he would never have the mouth to say our girls will do anything for the good life, oh yeah including bringing a friend along.
I know things will get better, I have faith in us, I know my children will see the women in my generation the way I saw the women in my parents and grandparents generation. There are certain things in this life that can never be bought and those things include dignity, esteem, and self worth. They cant sell that in the market. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes but there are certain mistakes that can be corrected if the person wishes it so.
Anyhoo, thanks to all for the birthday wishes. I truly appreciate it.. Gracias!!!