and I can't sleep. I have been soo restless, I guess I have too much on my mind, so many things I probably need to let out. Hey, I am human, well last time I checked I was.. I am at a stage in my life, business etc where every decision I make counts. I know I do discuss a bit of how I work on here but the thing is most do not know the half of it.. The stress, the money you have to spend, the slow seasons, the runs, the things not going as planned, the money, the bills, the responsibilities that come with owning a business. Its like people expect you to live up to a certain standard and thats impossible for me because I enjoy doing things at my own pace. Now lets not get into the inconsiderate folks, that think because you have a biz, you have automatically turned into a money tree. So my take is, if I give you my dough how will I grow..? see how that rhymes..lol
Now its like, T you cant really slack or just get by, you have reached the level where you need to take it to another level.. and this is where I am stuck, I am stuck on where to start.. The biggest issue I have now is I am fully established here but my heart keeps telling me, in fact it keeps screaming to me, naija. Yeah, naija is cool and there is money to be made but am I ready? I suppose I am but why is it so hard to just say yes this is how it will happen....
The other day I was at STV and a lady came on the morning show, lord, I forgot her name but she owns Rose of Sharon (I think) but boy did I feel her, she said some things that really moved me in regards to making decisions about business. She said she had to make certain decisions in life which brought her to where she is now, well I think I am at the stage she was at when she did that. Well, I should have gotten her info because that would have been a fantastic person to have a one on one with... Last year I also sat down with Muyiwa who designs clothes and my future inlaw who owns Iconola in the soundcity waiting room.. and its like I have never seen myself get echoed, talking to them was like a breath of fresh air because the short time we spent talking, they echoed so many things I also face. I honestly think young entrepenuers should get together once a month and just discuss, I think it would help because then, you begin to realize you are not alone...
Its like, you have to ask yourself so many questions and make decisions based on the answers you get. I know deep down inside the naija market would be a great place to follow through on properly, not just half assing it but I also know if I do my attention to where it all started will suffer. Plus I keep getting demand in different places so my concentration is being diverted whereby confusing me even more... I keep having to remind myself that I am only one person and the way I stress and think lately could potentially affect my health but that never helps...
Its like placing your baby that you have cared for in the hands of someone else and just closing your eyes and saying Ill check on her once in a while.... Its not an easy task.. I just spent the past 40 mins gettin a pep talk from my man, he seems to make sense but I know deep down its not that easy for me. I wish I could be more like him, he never lets things he can't control bother him, just free spirited live and let live type person but boy I am the total opposite... The moral support does help but the buts are still there, in fact I wont kill myself..
If you were me, what would you do.. right now there is no sure answer, just confusion.. what is the next step for me.. I am happy and content in every other aspect of my life.. I just wish I could get this part right on the first try. So T what and what do you need to do to take it to the next level, for growth, to create that empire you dream of.. What? sighs!....
It cracks me up when people think they know you or the half of what you go through, it cracks me up to the point where it is almost irritating when people looking from the outside form negative opinions about you that are far from the truth but you know what, such is life.. I have chosen my path and pray the decisions I make from now on are good ones so that my haters can rot in the pit of their own self pity..lol.. ok thats mean sha but yeah!.. I do enjoy the support I get from friends, bloggers etc, it does help in the motivational dept but then you know a rose is not without its thorns amist all the well wishers, a few aspiring haters and back talkers will emerge but I know one thing, God pass them.... I have made some bad decisions and some good ones in that past and thats what makes me human. So far I aspire to be on top and work towards it, I will continue to pat myself on the back..
Anyhoo, on to a light note, I just want to say the person who said keep your enemies close and friends closer never lied.. I was just going over soo many things, not happening to me personally but things in general in my head.. Its funny how its the people who smile with you the most that won't hesitate to cast you.. anyhoo story for another day....
anyhoo, on with my night vigil, I was on bellas blog today though I havent had the chance to read her blog comments in a long while but i guess something happened while I was away, between two people I know and anyhoo bla bla bla so of course I had to read and notate the trends in the comments. What bothered me was that people who came there to talk where anonymous posters, I am not a big fan of anon poster who have nothing good to say only becuase they come across as cowards. I have a simple motto "If I have something to say about you, Ill say it to you, get the mud out and lets duke it out" lol... another thing was they just had too much to say, too personal for my liking, yeah bloggin is fun etc but people should know where to draw the line.... kinda had me rethinking this whole blog thing.. maybe its time to retire the semi personal aspect of it...
sha thats not where I am going with this, in the middle of reading all the comments, my name popped up.. of course it had to be from an anomymous poster..(no brainer).. after reading it I started cracking up and it actually uped my sour mood a bit.. Said poster had some negs to say about my outfit to the future... well ha ha and bloody ha.. I liked it so thats what counts. I was in the mood to tell the person to go and chop shit but I won't because it really doesnt matter. with that said all I have to say is LEAVE BRITTANY ALONE!.. maybe now I can get some sleep..
ps.. bella, I see u o.. I have your koboko ready...lol