booty call...

The song booty call by wande coal feat dbanj, I swear that song makes me want to shout Why me o. " I love that BOOTY, I love that BOOTY" bla bla bla, Oh gosh, this is soo arrggghhh for me because I was actually feeling wande coal, his voice is supafly and we all love us some Dbanj and his sexy petite a$$.

Anyhoo when I got sent the song, I was like yeah this should be good, I took it to my listening parlor ( my car ) and played it over and over and over and over again, trying to shake the feeling of someone stop the music, then I was like maybe it was the way wande coal would emphasize the word booty each time, that made my body cringe. Ok maybe its not that bad, then again, yes it is.. teehee

The beat is fly tho, yeah I can rock to the beat but the song itself, I don't know jare, I think wande coal needs direction, because I have actually heard better from him. I guess this is a case of ok song, wrong artist..

anyhoo after wande coal punishes my ears with over emphasized repetition, ruining a perfectly good chorus, Dbanj comes in on one verse and I am feeling him till he comes with this shit here..
" some of them are local and some are flown in (delivery sucked here)
as long as you know that is no long thing
you can hold me and you can touch me
as long as you know that is no long thing
you can feel me and you can kiss me
as long as you know that is no long thing "
err capital NO!.. It just was screaming, I have no substance, which I know can't possibly be the case. DONT TOUSSSSSSH IT.. lol

Now for my fav part of the song, there was some dude that rapped right after dbanj I think his name was series or serious anyhoo whatever his name was, he was tight, he said gluteus maximus! hehe, they should have had him do the whole song and had wande just do the chorus like "I love that overload walking down the road" bla bla bla, minus the I love that booty part, if they omitted that I love that booty, or maybe had him calm down a bit when he said booty, the chorus woulda been HOT!

anyhoo to finish it off Dbanj now goes on some rant at the end of the song and it goes a little something like this.. "file, if you know you like booty, wande coal, how you no go like booty" then he does this "aheenaheeenahennnaehenn" thing that left me baffled, then goes on to say " booty call, booty call, booooooty, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY boooooooooooty, ahhhh I like booooooooooooooty, eh eh, big BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTY. don jazzy why we dey call am booty, see yansh"

and then I chuckled, shook my head, and chuckled again. I love his energy sha but that part.. phewww!!!..Like a kid in a candy store.. anyhoo, still tryna decide if I would dance to it at a club, I probably would, I would just listen to the beat and tune out most of the verses. Needless is say, wande coal is very talented so when his album does come out I will most def be buying it, Ill just skip this track.. j/k teeeheee.. lol

Anyhoo, I am off the NY/NJ today, one of my boys is getting married, so it should be fun because I am going to be armed with a camcorder..wont be back till next week so yall stay cool..

name change, 419ers, and more..

So, remember I told yall that I have a new show coming this fall that should be taping in nig soon, well I also wanted to share that we will not be using the "working name" so its not going to be Total Access anymore, my producer decided and I agreed to go with another name based on the format of the show, unfortunately I can't disclose, even a hint of what the new name will be because, anyways sha, long story and because I do not like drama, I will not get into it!

Now on to some more exciting news, OK WEEKLY comes out tomorrow, YIPEEEE...so pick up a copy, its going to be in the boutique section, I guess. I had them add a discount code so feel free. BTW: the website has been updated again so feel free.

Now for some annoying stuff, so 2 nights ago, I did not get a wink, ok maybe a wink sha but I did not get to sleep through the night because of 419ers faxing my cell phone. See, normally when I give my number out in NIG I warn people that I think may not use their personal phone all the time not to call me from pay phones. Anyhoo I gave my number to a family friend and I guess some way, I did not think he would actually use one of those pay services, long story short, he did and less than a week later, the faxes started coming. Yeah I heard a while back that they sell numbers to these 419er...Its soo annoying, like, don't you realize you are like faxing a cell phone. These idiots don't realize most people use cells these days, and fax numbers are usually separate from land lines so the chances of someone calling to talk to someone on a line you can fax are low.

I really wish these 419ers would spend the amount of time and energy they put into doing shady things, into doing something lucrative. Its almost like they don't know how to channel that energy into something good. Sighs!.. anyhoo, they woke me up around 2 am so I got like 2 hrs of sleep when I should have been recuperating from my exhaustion. Oh my exhaustion, lol. At one point I was convinced something was seriously wrong with me, feeling feverish, couldn't walk, all that and some, it turned out all I needed was loads of rest. Bad timing I tell ya.

Which leads me to a funny story, a little while back, this 419er kept faxing my celly, I guess he realized it wasn't working so the idiot had the nerve to call me and the conversation went a little something like this
ME: Hello
419er: Hellow
ME: yeah who is this
419er: whaaaaaz ya fazz numba?
me: huh?
419er: whaaaaz ya fazzzz numba?
me: *chuckles* because I know what is about to go down
419er: hello, hello, whazz ya fazz number?
me: whats my fax number? Ill give you my fax number after I report you to the FBI
419er: FBI? you ha a foolish woman
me: your mama
419er: you haaa very stupid
me: all your future generations
419er: starts ranting something about me abusing his mama and having no respect and I should call the fbi this and that...
me: look, stop calling my phone, foolish 419, go and drink bleach, you are a disgrace, then I start ranting about how he is shaming our peeps and bla bla bla

anyhoo long and short of it, we exchanged a couple of nasty words, hell, it was costing him money not me, so why not. lol... after a few more choice words I hung up on him. He never called back and the fax chilled for a while! One thing I will say is I have their time, a child that says his mother will not rest, that child sef will not sleep..

Not sure if I updated already but I am sure all of you have heard that the Lagos state governor announced publicly that he did not make any law in regards to the indecent dressing bit.. anyhoo I guess its now stale news but its still good to hear. Plus I heard that if you are harassed take the name and badge number down, ( this was already standard for me). Lovely! now I can harass back. hehehe " Mr Officer, Fashola say make I write ya name down o" hehehe

PS: Those in nig, my crystal ball says a tp fashion show with a wicked twist is in your near future.

Oriki: we can only try

I have been kinda bummed by all the things going on n NIG but as always I guess I am trying to see the hope at the end of a dead tunnel. I made a sort of promise to myself yesterday. I promised to do my best to bring some part of the naija culture into things I do. So the next couple of designs coming out of the TP tee line will be naija related maybe by name or concept. There is a new tee out now called Akanke Faceless Beauty and I'm sure you already know about Taba Soko Soja, the Yoruba Proverb Tee. Well I found Taba Soko Soja on this website and that did put a smile on my face.. you see that it says YORUBA STONE PROVERB, the key word being Yoruba on something they considered HOT!!!. That's how stuff starts people.. first Its a website, next is press, next is curiosity, next appreciation for the mening. I can bet you, people who don't understand or speak Yoruba that have bought the Yoruba proverb tee get questions regarding their tee, like what does it mean and I'm sure it will maybe lead them to dig deeper into the meaning.

Anyhoo on to my gist, so Akanke Faceless Beauty, is actually a very special tee. A while back a design was made for me that I had kinda been sitting on, I obviously knew what the basic design was but I decided to take the design and recreate it with a different twist... If you don't know what Akanke is, Akanke is what Yoruba's would call an Oriki, Ill try to explain it as best as I can, an Oriki is like a way of praising someone by name. Your oriki is meant to represent how the person prasing you sees you. Akanke is a semi-common oriki for women. Every time my darling or my granny calls me Akanke, I know it makes my head swell specially when they join it with other head swelling words. hehehe.. anyhoo this is the breakdown of Akanke from the Toni Payne Website.

"Akanke Faceless beauty is drawn from the idea of a special lady/girl. Akanke translates to a female that is to be adored, this person is someone that is to be cherished and treated like a rare gem. The design remaining faceless represents you, me, and everyone else that considers themselves special. It could be your mother, sister, friend, or girlfriend. If you consider a female in your life special, Akanke faceless beauty is a great way of telling them"

and here is a picture of Akanke Faceless Beauty.. looks like a superstar huh.? I cant wait for the blinged out version. I plan to blind a few people with it. lol not literally sha! Anyhoo, Akanke Faceless beauty tee will be pictured in the boutique section of OK WEEKLY, the issue hits stands AUGUST 23RD so do pick up a copy.. Lets see how many folks wonder what Akanke means huh.

I cannot stress it enough when I say these tees are not being created just to have another tee shirt line on the market, else Ill just stick with makeup. lol. they are created to exude a feeling, a sense of pride, a sense of self, to jerk your curiosity. The haute tee has casted a few people, hehehe.. Im sitting there thinking they are hip and come find out they do not know what Haute Couture is.. LMAO! Like look buddy, I could be HOT!! but I am a frigging Fashionistah so I am Haute.. lol....Anyhoo, back to my rambling, If the tees don't do that then hell, maybe I need to revisit my sense of reasoning. So far the response has just been wonderful with people interpreting their tees etc, I am soo proud of this project, I'm bursting with ideas, I mean taking it back, waaaaaay back, I see the bigger picture and that to me is very hot. What I want personally for the line is, when you rock it, you feel it and are proud to wear it.

Anyhoo its 11:40 pm and my fav show "married with children" is on so I gotta go. I have seen all the episodes of that show at least 6 times and never get tired of the Bundy's.. lol. Love, love, love em.

Ps: Those in NIG, get ready to get your hands on your own TP tees before the year runs out. Linda and I are going to be having talks about collaborating on a fashion project possibly with her Style night or something similar, she is very fab and reminds me of me plus she cracks me up so I'm definitely looking forward to that. oh BTW, the shirts can be customized so yeah when I am in town, I will be doing a bit of that like the one below..

Its going to be on a first come first serve basis. Once all material is gone, there is nothing I can do but make you wait till my next visit or have it shipped to you which is muchos expensiveros. lol.. BTW i updated my facebook with a I rock my TP Tees album so feel free to check it out.. celebs etc..

haha.. Stupidity at its worst..

YUP!! My next trip is coming up very soon and Im going to be rocking my tank tops, my halter tops, my tight ass booty hugging jeans, hell and when the weather is flipping hot I will rock my mini sun dresses like there is no tomorrow, hell, Im going shopping for more, the brightest noticable colors I can find. If them born their papa well, they should come and harrass me. That 20k will come out of their assholes. Then they will explain to their forefathers how dressing a certain way = definite prostitution without any basis. No solicitation, nothing. Like flipping hell, my 2 year old cousin is smarter than these people. init? ( yah I had to go to london with that one) When they should be worried about all the negative PR they have been getting, they go right ahead and create more. Forget not trying to make NIG look bad because they are already doing a good job on their own, someone should decument this and send it in to a major world news station, and please let them know who the moron is that create the law so the world can recognize and see someone go from a local champion to an international moron. In fact, if no one wants to do a show about it, Im hella willing. bastids! If anyone is down with writing letters, let me know where and Ill be glad to write the most fiery letter to whomeever, so fiery their eyes will bleed reading it. Maybe its time to to start claiming Ghana. lol

Imagine this nonsence..

The Police on Thursday arraigned 90 girls and three men before an Ikeja Magistrate Court presided over by Mr. Adeola Adedayo, over alleged breach of peace.
The girls and the young men were charged with a one-count offence of ”conduct likely to cause breach of public peace” which is punishable under Section 249 of the Criminal Code Law of Lagos State.

All the girls were picked up late in the night on Wednesday at various locations in Opebi, Allen and Ikeja areas, allegedly in suspicious circumstances.
Some of them were allegedly arrested at some brothels while some were picked on the roads, either walking or riding on motorbikes, popularly known as Okada.

The girls were brought to court wearing ”indecent clothes” in which they were arrested. Our correspondent however observed that while the majority of the girls dressed in provocative outfits, there were some of them who dressed normally. The girls had been detained overnight at the Area F, Police Command, Ikeja. The magistrate granted each of them, bail in the sum of N20, 000 with a condition to produce one surety each.

The N20,000 was required to be paid in cash to the court by each of the accused before their bail could be perfected.The names of some of the girls are Kehinde Obariounse, Olaoulwa Yahaya, Queen and Rose Ekpeyong,Vivian Odia, Mary Johnson, Joy Okafor, Aisha Musa, Rose Anita and Blessing Anita.

Our correspondent gathered that the clampdown on the indecently dressed girls and commercial sex workers by the Police was as a result of the order made by the new Lagos State Commissioner of Police, Mr. Muhammed Abubakar. Speaking in an interview with our correspondent, a lawyer to some of the girls, Mrs. Fransica Odoemena, argued that quite a number of the girls were innocent as they were picked up on the roads while on legitimate activities.

She blamed the police for the indiscriminate arrest, especially when some of the girls could identify themselves. One of the accused, Miss Abosede Ekpeyong, a student of the Faculty of Arts, University of Lagos, told our correspondent that she was picked up while trying to board an okada to Iyana Ipaja on Wednesday.

She presented her university identity card and that of the faculty to our correspondent.
She said, ”These cards could not even convince the police that I am not a prostitute. They arrested me and told me to enter into a waiting bus in which many girls were already seated.”
Two of the accused who claimed to be twins, Miss Rose and Queen Ekpenyong said they were coming from Abia to Lagos and that they were picked up by the Police at Ikeja under the Ikeja flyover.

The Police Prosecutor, Sergeant Chris Takim, declined to comment on the circumstances under which the accused were arrested. He said, ”When the trial starts you will know everything you want to know.” Majority of the girls could not however perfect their condition for bail and they were made to board five buses in which they were brought to court, preparatory to being taken to the Kirikiri Prisons. The matter was adjourned till August 24, 2007

Update::: So I was thinking, how bout we all take this report, copy and paste in our emails and send it to all our friends with the subject heading "Mr. Muhammed Abubakar needs to be stopped" and then have them forward it and encourage everyone who has it to send it to CNN, BBC and other top media outlets to pls send a reporter to interview Mr Abudumdum and ask what his reasoning is. If we bombard the media enough, maybe we could put a spotlight on it and a bit of pressure on them as well.

My very angry Rant...

You have to excuse my tone because this issue has been bothering me for days and I have been meaning to blog about it but got motivated when I visited Lady Funmi Iyandas Blog.. I try soo hard not to let things upset me but this one is just one of those things you just can't help. Her post and the one before this had me seeing red.

This quote
"As we drove off we hear him shouting defiantly, What if you be barrister and she be doctor, na only una read book? Warn your wife and all these asewo women, we go deal with them for Lagos."
reminded me of the incident I had with cops, like why do they have such an inferiority complex. I remember my monkey policeman kept shouting about how I felt na only me get jeep and about how he has kids in America. like WTF, who flipping cares!.. Like Kelly Bundy would say, "it boggles the mind" sighs! What would warrant you insulting grown women. I mean shit, like uncalled for is not even the word here, the dictionary doesnt have a word for it yet. A lot of people in that country are still 100 yrs behind and they just dont know it.

She also talked about a few things that just had my heart racing and my blood boiling. These two quotes almost moved me to tears, like WHY the F**K why?

"Not much really except that three of the hottest bars, hotels and clubs on Ozumba were robbed last Saturday with the open rape and abduction of a well dressed, corporate type woman in front of her weeping fiance. "
and
"The victims didnt report to the police in our usual culture of silence. They dont trust the police, dont believe they will get justice and want to avoid futher ridicule and shame. The robbries on the road and in traffic is of course norm now. To combact it all the police continues to arrest women in jeans because they are prostitutes, the rationale is that robbers lead immoral lives and follow prostitutes so if you catch the prostitues you catch the robbers."



I started to leave a comment and thought men, let me not rape her blog with my angry rants, lol. let me just get it over and done with and blog about it

I was having a similar discussion with my mum and she kept laughing at me because of how angry I got about the topic. I mean, I keep saying this, anyone who say they are living in NIG and enjoying themselves because they have money are fooling themselves. How can you enjoy your riches in the midst of oppression. You think you are not oppressed because you have generator and pumping machine and basic needs that you have to pay extra for?.. haha! wot a friggin joke!.. And lets not forget that you cannot even properly show off your huge home that you spent millions on because you have to erect a massive gate to stay safe.. andyah dont dream of taking a cab at ngiht because you may just have to take that walk into your estate because cabs are not allowed in after a certain time. Why should you even have to deal with that. Yes o, serious oppression, because if you are scared to walk freely at night, or if you wonder who will come and invade your home and if the police will respond, or if you wonder if your govt has your back, hell or if the people who are meant to protect and serve will be the ones to cast you, you are dealing with serious oppression, and I don't understand for the life of me how people can be happy living like that.

Well naa I do understand, I figured it out on my last visit, people are comfortable in their situation and too lazy to do anything about it. They dug a hole in front of our store, blocking paths and disturbing business, how come I was the only one out there looking like a trouble maker, because no one else seemed to care. Hell its their business too, but "fiwo le, bi wo shen shey nkan niyi (leave them alone, thats how things are done). The hell If I will fiwo sile, "Close the hole right away ma friend" The only thing that probably keeps me going back is the fact that home is always where the heart is, there is always a weak spot for your roots and I guess I am still holding on to that itsy bitsy piece of hope that things will change. I always try to understand why I am soo in love with that country, but to be honest I cannot come up with a valid reason except that its mine. When I think about NIG I wonder, how can one move forward in a backwards situation?

This their new "law" if it is a law, is complete and utter bullshit, its bad enough I have to worry about police pulling me over for no reason to collect money their foremothers and forefathers did not work for, now I have to worry about them actually having a stupid reason to harass me. Who ever came up with this law must be the biggest dumdum NiG has ever seen. and when I say dum dum, I mean dummer than dum, as in a new born has to be smarter than this person. How do you create a law without accessing the full consequences in a nation where abuse of power is prevalent, how d you set something going without proper structure or clearly defined rules, without notifying your people what those rules are so they know when their human rights are being violated. Hell, Im getting angry typing now.

I had an argument with a friend a while back about why he would never go back, I tried to make him see reason, but in all honesty I'm starting to understand his reasoning. How will those outside the country get encouraged to come back to make a difference when this is what they see or have to deal with. Like who wants to deal with the stress you know. I mean there are soooo many pressing issues in that country with its STUPID FRIGGIN LEADERS, that how people dress should be the last thing on their minds. How bout an infrastructure, how bout creating jobs for people, how bout fixing something soooo little as potholes, hell, how bout you train those dirty looking mongrels hanging on the street side that call themselves police the proper protocol for doing their job and how about they just friggin stop embarrassing the hard working Nigerians going about their day to day. Its sad that when we get pulled over the first thing that gets done is me being begged not to fight any cops today. Why should it have to come to that? How bout these so called Leaders make their country a safe place to live and not somewhere you are warned not to go to or you are on your own. Its frustrating, how can we continue to have national pride when there is shit all to be proud of.. Damit!

This is the 100th time I am changing my mind about moving there, but you know what. My decision stays, I am not living in any society where someone can freely call me an ashewo and I cant do anything about it, I will not live someone where when I see police, I think to myself "oh lord what now" My friend has formed a habit of accelerating when he sees police. I don't blame him but my mind is never at ease when I know he is back in the country. When will things change? How will things change? Maybe God has really deserted that country? Maybe the people who take the abuse on a daily basis need to get up and fight to make a difference. Rome wasn't built in a day but haba, this one pass patience naaw.

I think its time we stop lying to ourselves, things are that bad, accept it, and make a change, no it ain't fun, no it aint safe, yes people are suffering, yes there is poverty and in the name of the lord dont start comparing yourselves to other countries, making excuses like, "well Brazil has corruption too" or "Mexico has bribery too" trying to make nig not look as bad as it is, leave that their business and this yours because with that attitude things wont change. When you carry that green white green flag shouting all over the place, naija this and that maybe you should ask yourself if there is anything to be proud of.

Actress Adriana Garza & Toni Payne Tees

You can read what she said about Toni Payne Apparel on her myspace blog. The cool thing about it is she did exactly what I expect everyone to do with the tees, interpret it as their own. Like even if its called moving on, that's Toni's interpretation, so whats yours? Yeah she is definitely on point, a lot of people just wear clothes but don't look at the bigger picture and this is what we are trying to achieve, tees that actually inspire, motivate, titillate, elongate, masssageate your mind. lol. You dig!. loving it..
You can visit her website here.

Picture Time - shopping event, $200 tee, party

I'm soo peeved with myself. We did a show this weekend and I did not blog about it before the show, well it was kinda impromptu and did not confirm till the evening before but I sorta knew it was going down.. anyhoo Got some shots of the shirts side by side and decided to share. Hope you like em.I would loooove to do something like this is NIG.. sooo bad its burning my fingers to get started on the plan..

Hollywood Shop Til! Shopping Event

Sweetest Dreams Tees

Closer View of Tees

This is my amateur shot of the detail on the Toni Payne $200 T-shirt. It is adorned with over 600+ genuine Swarovski crystals. (they are the closest thing in terms of clarity and cut to diamonds) looks killa at night (effizzy. lol) This tee was the most requested at the show.. Its custom order only and will stay as exclusive as possible.

Happy Customer holding her Preach Peace Tee, took a pic of her cos I loved her look even though it did not really show in the picture much. She had the pretty face, colored hair and simple accessories thing going on.

Divine Divas - B and Laposh at the show looking haute!

Friend for life rocking TP tees - LaPosh's preach peace has her name on the back. Gotta cop that.

this here picture is Jara, @LaPosh's birthday party the night b4, we had a blast!! as in I have not acted that wild in ages, felt good!.. Y is one of my best male friends and he is very single so send in your application.. you cant be a gold digger and you have to know how to cook and blend in with his friends. lol

If you wanna get any of the tees you can do that here http://www.tonipayneonline.com/ . Men and woman welcomed

Sidenote: oh gosh its been a while since I really fell in love with a song just hearing the first 10 seconds of it.. ok well maybe the second time this month. Anyhoo the song is called Hey there Delilah and its by Plain White Ts, you can listen to the song on their Myspace . The lyrics sound sooo familiar its scary, sounds soo much like a song my baby would write and sing for me. *ehhem, hint hint* hey there Toni. lol.

2face Idibia - video feat VIP.. lol

The lady with the big booty and her toaster.. kai! muchos beniros funniros, I like that.. They could have done away with the sunset square and the fatigue print at 2:41 and the chick at 4.40 but all in all Im feeling it. Pretty girls too? we thank the lord, holly ghost fire finally decended on Kennis Music. lol